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Strength is overrated. People will wish you strength as one of the “tick the box” condolence statements. They mean well. Don’t worry at all about having to be strong in your loss especially if up till now, you’ve been the strong one that everyone else has leaned on. Feeling like you have to be strong (which we do for others) is futile and self-defeating when all you may be feeling at the moment is numb and depleted.
As with all wars, there is inevitable havoc, hardship and consequent heartache. But if you step far enough away from the persistent shelling of negativity and devastation “fire-hosed” at us daily from news reports on Covid-19, the bigger picture has some surprisingly uplifting angles.
I didn’t realise how much I would appreciate being remembered for the “me” when my identity was truly my own– without the parameters of my life today: what I do, whom I’m married to, where I live, how I live.
My multi-cultural background and experiences as a Filipina/American/Canadian in Europe for 20+ years have made me culturally-astute at embracing “the new normal.” I try to approach it all with sensitivity, humour, authenticity and kindness.